Episode 71 – It was Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve!

This week we talk Italy, Parthenogenetic Stick Insects, Islamic honour killings, a bible reading record attempt, ethics classes vs religious instruction, and Jake has a freaking meltdown! Enjoy, Ninjas!

Watch here:

Download MP3 here.

Subscribe to the mother-flipping show via iTunes (we’re on all major podcasting aggregators) here.

Peace and love.

Jake.

Jake is the author of ‘Letters to Christian Leaders; Hollow be thy claims’, the book which takes the specific claims that the most prominent Christian Leaders make and directly refutes them using the latest research and evidence, reason, logic, and a dash of snarky humour. Get it here for your sexy kindleOr if you prefer the authenticity of a book (and are too cheap for a kindle) get the hardcopy here.

Episode 68 – Pray The Gay Away… again… and again!

This week we talk Gadaffi; ex-gay bigots Exodus International; discriminating against ones right to discriminate; Harold Camping fails again; Richard Dawkins gets bitchslapped by Gregg… and more. Enjoy.

Watch here:

Download MP3.

Subscribe to the mother-flipping show via iTunes (we’re on all major podcasting aggregators) here.

Peace and love.

Jake.

Jake is the author of ‘Letters to Christian Leaders; Hollow be thy claims’, the book which takes the specific claims that the most prominent Christian Leaders make and directly refutes them using the latest research and evidence, reason, logic, and a dash of snarky humour. Get it here for your sexy kindleOr if you prefer the authenticity of a book (and are too cheap for a kindle) get the hardcopy here.

Episode 67 – Condoms for everybody!

Wassup ninjas?

This week, the gang talk blame for gay teen suicide, atheist existentialism, placing your cremated remains in bullets, condom advertisements and a whole bunch of other stuff. Enjoy.

Watch here:

Download mp3.

Subscribe to the mother-flipping show via iTunes (we’re on all major podcasting aggregators) here.

Peace and love.

Jake.

Jake is the author of ‘Letters to Christian Leaders; Hollow be thy claims’, the book which takes the specific claims that the most prominent Christian Leaders make and directly refutes them using the latest research and evidence, reason, logic, and a dash of snarky humour. Get it here for your sexy kindleOr if you prefer the authenticity of a book (and are too cheap for a kindle) get the hardcopy here.

God, The Bible and Religion: all figments of a drug-fuelled imagination

I have often pondered the possibility that the story of a senior citizen finding resources for and building an arc of unimaginable proportions, then filling it with two of each animal, or Noah’s Arc might seem more believable if I were extremely, impossibly high on drugs. Now, Professor Benny Shanon of Jerusalem University has written of his theory that the biblical Israelites were high while they wrote their stories.

The thunder, lightning and blaring of a trumpet which the Book of Exodus says emanated from Mount Sinai were probably just have been the imaginings of a people in an altered state of awareness, Professor Shanon hypothesised, writing in the British Journal Time and Mind.

Anyone who has travelled deep into the jungles of South America and conversed with a tribal Shaman and been persuaded to try the intense hallucenogen, ayahuasca, can attest to the profound and elegant closeness to the universe it provides. A plant with the same qualities as one used in the ayahuasca brew has been revered by Jews in the region as having magical and curative powers.

This plant, readers, is commonly found around the Middle East, but most notably, on Mount Siani. That’s right boys and girls, when Moses met God for the first time, he was high, so high in fact that it took him forty days to come down… from the mountain.

So, riddle me this; have you ever gotten toked or tripped your way to heaven and written some seriously profound poetry, the kind that might change the world, then the next morning, awake with the same feelings of elation and read the garbled mess of semi passable prose that was your ticket to martyrdom and had it shunned?

Doesn’t it sound more likely that this is what transpired on the Siani; Moses mistook a commonly found herb used for tea and garnish for the hallucinogen, got profoundly high, talked to god (who was actually a talking burning bush (which was actually a small rodent)), wrote down what god said and walked back down the mountain with a satisfied grin on his face.

Then, he would have presented his writings to his peers, who would have laughed at and ridiculed him. Then, Moses, in a giant hissy fit, smashed the tablets on the ground and walked away in a huff. Then, incomprehensibly pissed off with his mates, got high again and talked shit about them, how they were worshipping idols and coveting other peoples wives.

How could he have known that his drug-fuelled, jive talking rant would go triple platinum?

So, there you have it, the Bible, God and stone tablets, were all written while profoundly high. It’s all a sham, a drug fuelled, garbled, rambling sham… no wonder the Christians rewrote it, it didn’t make any frickin sense!

Good night, and [drug-fuelled imaginary] God bless.

Source.

Jake is the author of ‘Letters to Christian Leaders; Hollow be thy claims’, the book which takes the specific claims that the most prominent Christian Leaders make and directly refutes them using the latest research and evidence, reason, logic, and a dash of snarky humour. Get it here for your sexy kindleOr if you prefer the authenticity of a book (and are too cheap for a kindle) get the hardcopy here.

Episode 54 – DO NOT PUT THIS IN YOUR MOUTH!

Dear Strange Bedfellows,

Who would’ve guessed that plucking my monobrow would enable me to be taken seriously as a broadway makeup artist?! Nonetheless, while plucking away indiscriminately, I found a copy of the 54th ImaginaryFriendsShow.com Podcast… how do you like them apples?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To avoid hearing about the debt ceiling crisis. Yeah, I went there! Rudy Rudell and I discuss testing anal dilation for gay priests (seriously), Rick Perry,  Catholics tired of Catholicism and skeptical problems in skeptic town.

Watch here:

Subscribe on iTunes here.

Download mp3 here.

Go masticate in public!

Jake.

Jake is the author of ‘Letters to Christian Leaders; Hollow be thy claims’, the book which takes the specific claims that the most prominent Christian Leaders make and directly refutes them using the latest research and evidence, reason, logic, and a dash of snarky humour. Get it here for your sexy kindleOr if you prefer the authenticity of a book (and are too cheap for a kindle) get the hardcopy here.

Australia No.1 for Sinning. I’m so proud!

An interesting and utterly hilarious study, conducted by Focus, a UK magazine, has found that Australia is ranked number 1 in the world for committing one of the ‘seven deadly sins’ as detailed in the book of rambling desert nomads, the bible.

That’s right, Australians, when compared with the 35 other countries in the study, were ranked at the top of most of the categories, so I thought we should examine them.

Lust – Totally, we Aussies bloody love sex! But sex doesn’t sum up ‘lust’; lust is a desire best described as sexual attraction. So in order to commit this sin, you only need to look at an attractive member of the opposite or same sex and find them desirable. I’m afraid to say that everyone I’ve ever met, from every country I’ve ever visited is guilty of this crime. To say that one country ranks above another is suggests a total lack of insight into sociology and psychology.

Gluttony – Totally, Aussies love to eat and drink to excess! While 52% of Australians are clinically obese (with a Body Mass Index of over 30), this only equates to about 10-15 million Aussies (Australia’s total population c. 25 million). If you travel to the USA, over 1/3rd of Americans are morbidly obese (Body Mass Index of over 40) which equates to more than 102 MILLION FATTIES! I dare say that Australia is a drop in a rather largish ocean!

Greed – Totally, we Aussies love our possessions. But greed isn’t actually defined as ‘having lots of crap’ greed is more accurately, ‘wanting lots of crap’. If we’ve learned anything from the Global Financial Crisis, Australia was one of the few developed nations that managed to float above the oceans of debt that engulfed and just about sunk the rest of the world. Worst hit were, of course, the UK, where this study was published, and the USA, where the GFC actually originated. The GFC was the result of a greed which the strongly regulated finance sector of Australia was all but immune to.

Sloth – Totally, Aussies are f*cking lazy! Well, actually, I think that they’ve got me here. Sure I run marathons and consider myself fairly proactive in my job; I am as lazy as an old dog in the afternoon sun! You could say that we’re ambassadors for the first law of Thermodynamics, the Law of Conservation of Mass. In our defence though, in Australia, it’s either f*cking hot, or f*cking cold, so staying still is usually a pretty intelligent option.

Wrath – Revenge is a dish best served cold and we Aussies totally are a heavy handed bunch. That said, we’re mostly easy going, we just enjoy a bit of too and fro. Where else in the world could you punch your best mate in the face in one motion, then with the next order a beer for him? (Joking, we’re not all violent). In all seriousness though, we Aussies are one of the most easy going stereotypes in the civilised world. We’re far cooler than the snooty French, far more laid back than the up-tight and anal Americans, and far more relaxed than the stiff-upper-lip British.

Envy and pride – sure, whatever. Envy and pride are the most stupid of the Christian thought crimes. Both of these ‘sins’ are the at the root of most people’s motivations to do anything. We see what other people have and we want it, so we strive for it, in spite of our meagre means. Of course, we could throw in with the stupid tradition of prayer and ask for help for our mystical overlord who hasn’t done anything to further humanity since arbitrarily raping (shit, I mean impregnating through Immaculate Conception) some Jewish chick 2000 years ago.

So there you have it Nations, Australia is the most sinful nation in the world, but only because we enjoy thinking about sex whilst eating a hamburger on a couch after we saw a really sexually attractive person eating it, so we knocked them out and stole it. Whilst we knew we should have apologised, our pride got the better of us, so we just ate another hamburger instead.

In the grand scheme of things, an international campaign advertising us as the most sinful nation in the world, would, I think, go a long way to get people to come and visit. “Come to Australia, where sinning is only natural!”

Peace Nation.

Jake is the author of ‘Letters to Christian Leaders; Hollow be thy claims’, the book which takes the specific claims that the most prominent Christian Leaders make and directly refutes them using the latest research and evidence, reason, logic, and a dash of snarky humour. Get it here for your sexy kindleOr if you prefer the authenticity of a book (and are too cheap for a kindle) get the hardcopy here.

Imaginary Friends Show vs Westboro Baptist Church

Dear Fag Enablers,

Here is the long awaited interview with Ben Phelps, grandson of Pastor Fred Phelps, the homophobic, anti-Semitic, bigot from the Westboro Baptist “God Hates Fags” church from Topeka, Kansas.

After this interview, I feel sorry for the guy. He’s clearly intelligent and were it not for his indoctrination into such a horribly bigoted cult, he’d be a guy I’d have a beer with… then, you know, like… whatever.

Watch/listen here (wait to load):

Download mp3 here.

Subscribe on iTunes here.

Go masticate in public!

Jake.

Jake is the author of ‘Letters to Christian Leaders; Hollow be thy claims’, the book which takes the specific claims that the most prominent Christian Leaders make and directly refutes them using the latest research and evidence, reason, logic, and a dash of snarky humour. Get it here for your sexy kindleOr if you prefer the authenticity of a book (and are too cheap for a kindle) get the hardcopy here.

Allah; God: Overlord of the Paedophiles

I weighed in on a debate running hot in one of the conference rooms near my office today. Apparently there are a number of Christians who have had their faith shaken by the recent spate of paedophilia in various Christian churches.

When I say ‘various Christian churches’, we are talking Protestant and Catholic churches.

The debate it self was between a Baptist and a Catholic. The nosy and opinionated Baptist (they’re all nosy and opinionated) was criticising the guilt-ridden and persecuted Catholic (they’re all guilt-ridden and persecuted) over the fact that the Pope, Benedict XVI, Joseph Ratzinger, or as I call him, J-Ratz, has not admitted any liability and has not accepted any responsibility for abuse cases that he CLEARLY had a hand in.

As the workplace’s “Token-Ecumenical-Atheist”, I felt the need to point out that despite the different denomination, they both believe in the same God. Despite the difference in their respective dogma; despite the religious figureheads they support or follow; if there truly were such a thing as God, then he should have intervened.

“But what of the alleged ‘Free Will’”, quipped the apologetic Baptist.
To which I replied, “where is God?”
They both agreed, “all around us”.

“Well then”, I began, “if God is omnipresent, then He is in the room while a child is being raped by his priests, and yet he does not provide comfort, only absence.

“If God is omnipotent, then he has the power to stop the paedophile priests, but does not so much as lift an ethereal finger.

“If God is omniscient, then He knows that it has happened more than once.”

Wake up and smell the bullshit!

Seriously.

Belief has never stopped a murderer from murdering, a paedophile from raping or a psychopath from torturing, because there is always forgiveness, penitence, or ‘accepting JC as your personal lord and savior’.

Regardless which religion you have chosen to worship under, people within your religion do and have previously committed countless vile, deplorable and abhorrent acts, and your respective God/s have done nothing!

God, Allah, Yahweh, El, Odin, whoever; they’re powerless or gutless.

Clerics and priests claim to speak for God and direct their followers hither and thither aimlessly.

I speak for your God; I speak for Allah; I speak for all of them. They’re saying, “I don’t exist. Dissolve the religious institutions and be good for goodness sake!”
 

Epicurus’ Paradox.

Episode 51 – Seriously, coral looks better bleached!


Dear Mildly Agitated Masticators,

No one knows better than I, the dangers of falling asleep in the sun… while nude… or at least NOW I know better than most the dangers of falling asleep in the sun nude. But third degree burned private parts aside, the 51st episode of the ImaginaryFriendsShow.com podcast is alive!

In this episode, we welcome Pete Darwin and a new segment, “The Miracles of Modern Day Science!” Pete and I talk solar flux, solar minimum and solar plexus… and coral bleaching. We also talk social injustice and the right to refuse police requests for religious reasons, and reincarnated secular Jewish lawyers being stoned to death by bad reporters.

Listen here (wait to load):

Or download the mp3 here.

Jake is the author of ‘Letters to Christian Leaders; Hollow be thy claims’, the book which takes the specific claims that the most prominent Christian Leaders make and directly refutes them using the latest research and evidence, reason, logic, and a dash of snarky humour. Get it here for your sexy kindle. Or if you prefer the authenticity of a book (and are too cheap for a kindle) get the hardcopy here.

Bonus Snake Poo Episode (no seriously)


Gadies and Lentlemen,

So, we’ve had such jam-packed episodes over the last couple of weeks that inevitably things have had to be cut, here are the best bits of what you missed… and snake poo.

Listen here:

Download MP3 here.

Delightfully wicked!

Jake Farr-Wharton.

Jake is the author of ‘Letters to Christian Leaders; Hollow be thy claims’, the book which takes the specific claims that the most prominent Christian Leaders make and directly refutes them using the latest research and evidence, reason, logic, and a dash of snarky humour. Get it here for your sexy kindle. Or if you prefer the authenticity of a book (and are too cheap for a kindle) get the hardcopy here.