Homeopathy Entrance survey

Entrance Survey School of Homeopathy, University of Minoundra

Please circle options

This is not a test

Why are you here?

a) To help my fellow homans

b) To understand supanature

c) To learn altnertitive sines

d) I don’t beleve in currant meddlesome practerces

How did you hear about Homeopathy?

a) From a lady

b) From a man

c) From a book (eggsplain) ………………………………………………………………………

What is your entry prequitsetit course?

a) Real estate

b) Car sales

c) Mattress person

d) Insurance sales

e) Corl centre operator

How much money is in;

a) My purse? ………………………………..

b) My bag?…………………………………..

c) My pockets? …………………………….

If one homeopath says one thing and another says another;

a) is one wrong?

b) Two answers in seccession are right.

c) Its a big problem, for 56 dollars you can solve it immediately.

Have you ever understood any pharmacy?

a) No

b) I speak English

c) Yes (please put your pen down and leave immediately).

Does it worry you that all senior Homeopath Professors in the school have erection problems?

a) No, its a sacrifice any woman would gladly make.

b) No, we have a soccer field. It helps

c) No, this hall used to be the stone masons school.

What can be said about a Homeopathic melanoma pillule developed here at U.M.?

a) Nobody will get melanoma in new Caledonia or in the Christmas islands.

b) A mouse probably ate it.

c) Its worth a lot of money, can I sell you mine?

What is the advantage of Homeopthy over modern meddlesome?

a) People will pay a lot of money for nothing.

b) You don’t need to know a priest for last rights.

c) You don’t deal with anything “Ickey”

Homeopathic Phil losophy

Why is there evil in the world?

a) Heads fall off weevils.

b) There was only one nice person 5000 years ago.

c) People will believe lies.

What do you think is the concentration of Jesus water in your body?

a) X10

b) X20

c) C10

d) C100

What do you think is the concentration of Ghengis Khan water in your body?

a) X10

b) X20

c) C10

d) C100

What is the concentration of Lazarus of Bethany in your body?

a) X5

b) X6

c) X7

d) X8

Why is Lazarus’ concentration so much greater?

a) 2000 years of cross word puzzles

b) He reads fine print.

c) Nobody will let him sleep.

What is the effect of the three dilutions in every person?

a) For $90 dollars I’d say;

b) For $150 I’d give a second opinion.

c) I don’t know, Its the start of the course, I need indocktrenetion.

Can elite athletes benefit from Homeopathy?

a) Sure can, they have lots of money

b) Sure can, their coaches have money

c) The AIS has unlimiterd fun ding

How much do we owe you?

a) Huh? (go to Homeopathy 101)

b) Can we discuss this? (Go to Homeopathy year two)

c) $400 (go to graduation ceremony)

d) I feel guilty, can I donate 20 bux to the school? (You are an E. Prof)

  • http://YOURURL Anonymous Atheist

    Since you don’t make blog posts for the podcast episodes, I’ll comment here about episode 35.

    I’d like to ask that you please don’t use m4a format to post your episodes, like you did with episode 35. Not all of your listeners use iTunes/iPods. It is a big hassle for people like myself, whose preferred software and devices don’t play m4a, when you don’t stay with the universally-compatible mp3 format.

    • http://imaginaryfriendsshow.com jakefw

      Hey Anon,

      I was literally just about to send out such an question to see whether people preferred the m4a file. Now that I have my answer, I won’t use it again. I use a little mp3 player (no brand) for when I run and it’ll only play mp3′s so I should give myself an uppercut for not being more inclusive.

      Thanks mate,

      Jake.

  • http://YOURURL Anessieist

    Another comment on your show’s audio:
    someone complained that the show is too big. Have you thought about just putting it up in mono, thus cutting the recording’s size in half right there (unless you used joint stereo while encoding it)?
    I challenge you to notice the difference between the two, I haven’t seen any benefit of using two channels yet.
    Also, maybe try variable bitrate as an encoding setting. You can set a certain quality (V5 or V6 would be your kind of thing, I suppose) and have the audio take up space as it needs to satisfy that quality. In case your authoring program does not include it:
    http://lame.sourceforge.net/

    And… is that “Satan” from the Q&A sessions a soundbite from R*mmst**n?

    • http://imaginaryfriendsshow.com jakefw

      Hi mate, I’ll certainly give it a go, but to me, the most important thing is sound quality, so while I do absolutely acknowledge the size issue (it’s a storage space issue for me too) I won’t sacrifice quality for size.

      I record in single channel mono, but encode in stereo. I’ll check it out though, so thanks for the info.

      Satan is me… I’m everyone and everything…

  • Anessieist

    Well, it totally sounded like R*mmst**n — maybe they use similar filters for the voice. :D
    Try saving your recording uncompressed first and then play around with different compression strengths.
    Also, please do not downplay the upsides of variable bitrate:
    the variable bitrates do just this: “have quality up to a certain level and if there is less going on, audio-wise, reduce the bitrate because that has no effect.”
    How could I illustrate it? If you paint large monochrome areas on a painting, you can do that with a very large brush with very few strokes, whereas in areas with many details, you use a much smaller brush and do much more strokes (i. e. more space in an mp3 file) to account for all the little details.
    Constant bitrates on the other hand would just use one brush of a particular size for the whole picture, indiscriminate if you could use a more coarse brush ore not, thus wasting resources.
    The quality setting of variable bitrate sort of defines the smalles possible brush you can use. Please give it a try. Encode your music in various VBR settings and see how they sound, take a good compromise between quality and size.
    These pages probably illustrate it better than I can:
    http://wiki.hydrogenaudio.org/index.php?title=VBR
    http://wiki.hydrogenaudio.org/index.php?title=Constant_bitrate

    Another request:
    Could you please use consistent filenames and id3 tags? This looks like a real mess, doesn’t it. :(
    Compare how neat and consistent your colleagues’ tags over at Irreligiosophy look. ;)

    Okay, enough ranting, I really enjoy what you’re doing.

  • Anessieist

    Clarification:
    I do not mean the Satan character speaking, I got that that’s you.
    I mean the actually spoken/sung (with guitar and drums) word “Satan” in the intro to that segment. (E. g. show #17 at 51:25).
    I really doubt that is also you. :)

  • http://YOURURL Mud (Nihls) Hengist Henk

    Jake is Samael when at home in the realm of the gods. Samael is allowed to adopt the name satan if only to keep lilith the night hag sexually satisfied.

    Jake did make application for me (Ha-Satan) to be interviewed, but I am busy prosecuting trial by media in the assange and science education cases.

    This is really big Kudos fro you adam, personally, pffft, you guys don’t need a prosecutor..

  • http://YOURURL Mud (Nihls) Hengist Henk

    ps, Lilith is pretty dim and generally reliable…just don’t let her take the kids out..

  • http://YOURURL Stalling1Kunc

    The bag features a leather flap closure which can then be secured using either a postman’s lock or the small lockable padlock at the front of the bag. All such fixtures on the bag are made from brass including the brass feet on the bottom of the bag which are useful for protecting the leather at the bottom of the Bayswater from being scratched and scuffed.
    Google.it

  • http://YOURURL mUd

    You guys use bras as locks?? geez..

    I perfected the Fonz technique at 15..(before Arthur I think)..a lock made out of bras would be unsnapped in seconds (even blind folded!).

  • http://YOURURL Muddie

    not that anyone wears a bra that I can unsnap around here and with the full on Julia supporters that hang around..I daren’t even wear a budgie snuggler..

    Smugglers for the libs..snugglers for the humans!

    Its always been about proportion..

    PS ! got to 1500C yesterday and the MWSDB pinned me for water wastage!!

    Life as a well hung homeopath is getting harder..no water..n bra..and ill fitting swim wear!